never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
