he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
