There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
