she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
