ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
