can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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