Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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