What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he thought i was a dude.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
