I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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