I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We just shotgunned beers for America
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
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You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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