i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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