Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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