Already got asked if we're dating
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
