she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize