We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
