I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
