the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
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