Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
