He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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