i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I won the penis lottery.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
