the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
