so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
