I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
