hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
