Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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