Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
