Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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