laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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