In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
