So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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