as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
