whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
