**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
