U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
