my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the liver wants what the liver wants
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
