just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
