I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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