Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
