im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
