You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
