just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Terrible idea I love it
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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