The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
