I seem to have left my pride at pride
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As shirtless as possible
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
