oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do vagina's smell?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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