I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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