it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
