belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
