The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
