So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize