im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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