when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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