Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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