you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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