too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
