I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
