I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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