new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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