...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
